i might like you better if we slept together
i might like you better if we slept together

i might like you better if we slept together


about me

1. What’s a question you’re afraid to ask? To whom?

hmm, i’d like to know if my old best friend and ex still think of me, i’m afraid to ask by default because we don’t talk any more and they were both awful endings.

2. What’s something you hide about your personality?
i care a lot more than people think i do, because it protects me from feeling vulnerable. 

3. What’s something other people think about you that you don’t agree with?
people think i’m arrogant, but i’m not at all, i have nothing to be arrogant about.

4. How do you deal with criticism?


5. What’s the sweetest thing anyone’s ever done for you?

hmm, the valentines card i got this year still makes my tummy feel funny when i look at it. an ex wrote “i love you” in the snow in huge letters outside my balcony once, and i didn’t know he was there, and he rang and told me to look over the balcony, that was sweet.

6. What’s the sweetest thing you’ve ever done for someone?

to be honest, i do sweet things a lot for the people i really care about, i like making my loved ones feel special, i can’t really think of an example though.

7. What’s something sweet you’d like someone to do for you?
what’s this obsession with sweet? i want my sexy mr loverpants to come and see me, and i want to watch movies with him all night and fuck loads and eat and drink nice stuff and generally just enjoy him.

8. Describe your favourite texture.
hmmm, i like soft skin a lot, maybe rabbit fur

9. Which national or global tragedy were you closest to and how did it affect you?
luckily none, i remember sitting in class when 9/11 happened, being made to have a minute of silence, and i remember thinking “i dont even get why i’m doing this”.

10. Post a photo/draw a picture/write a poem (pick one) of a moment of personal significance. 

hmmm, that’s hard, i’ll choose a photo. the girl on the right is one of the people that’s had the biggest impact on my life, in the sense that some of the situations we’ve been in have been so utterly fucked. i think in this photo we were round some random poledancer’s house, coked up to our eyeballs.

11. Which fictional character would you most like to have lunch with and why?

couldn’t care less, not overly into fictional shit. i’ll say jessica rabbit because she’s sexy

12. Who would you say is your “anti” role model? Someone who serves as a warning rather than an inspiration?

my mum. although she’s one of my best friends, she’s gone through a lot of shit, and shit i hope i never have to go through.

13. What’s your least “politically correct” opinion?

there should be a lot less immigrants in this country

14. What kind of underwear do you imagine Sherlock Holmes wears?

tighty whities

15. What’s one of the most difficult things you’ve ever had to do?

watch a person i love fall in love with someone else and pretend i was fine with it

16. If you were an element on the Periodic Table, which would you be and why?

s3xy …yeah i failed chemistry

17. What’s the most infuriating thing your parents (or caregiver) do?

to sum it up, my dad went to court recently because he had to dispute a speeding charge, and they told him he was “the most arrogant, obnoxious, ignorant man they have ever come across”….and he still didn’t give a fuck. in some ways i’m thankful because on some levels he taught me that it’s ok to be selfish

18. Which Disney Princess do you most identify with and why? Which is your favourite and why?

never really been into disney pricesses, i suppose i’d have to say beauty from beauty and the beast though as i used to have the dress when i was little, plus i’d say she was probably the hottest

19. You’re an Action Movie Hero. What’s your weapon of choice and the line you scream when defeating your arch enemy?

…why am i answering these. something fucking huge and hardcore, like a helicopter that shoots missiles, and i dunno, i’d oink or something

20. What’s the silliest fan theory you’ve ever come up with?
what’s a fan thory? 

21. What did you think about before you fell asleep last night?
fucking the man i love, as usual

22. What’s the oddest term of endearment you’ve ever used or that someone’s used for you?

my most recent ex used to call me “giant baby”, my ex before that called me “my naughty little princess”, ex before that used to call me his slut or something, cant even remember, general filth cos all we did was fuck. they’re all pretty shit, i’m not great with petnames

23. What motivates you in life?

sex/love and money 

24. What was something you used to enjoy, but was ruined for you? What’s the story behind that?
generally songs. one because it was played at my granddad’s funeral and it feels like it physically hurts whenever i listen to it, and others are songs i heard with my most recent ex. i despise him and anything that reminds me of him makes me want to puke. he was very musical so sadly that means there are a lot of songs in resent listening to. 

25. How do you think you will fare when the Zombie Apocalypse arrives?

not very well, i imagine myself getting really fucking drunk and just waiting for it to happen

26. Which mythological creature are you most like? Why? And if you could be any mythological creature, which would you want to be? Why?

fuck knows, a pixie because i like glitter and have a turned up nose. i dont really care about what one i’d be, one that’s rich and sexy that’ll do

27. Write a brief story about an actual adventure you’ve had.

adventure is pretty broad. one night a best friend and i got so drunk we went into kfc and ordered a family bucket of chicken, and then we sat outside on the floor eating it like fucking messes, and a group of literally 10 guys came along and were like YEAH COME WITH US, and because we were so wasted we did. i dont remember a lot about that, but i do remember 2 of them them trying to show me their dicks, and my friend sucked the dick of the only white one there hahaha. we weren’t gang raped though, in fact i made them go and buy me more booze, and we were completely unharmed, i’m still amazed at that actually

28. Describe one of the most awkward experiences of your life.
i met up with a dude from myspace, and in all his pics he had like, sunglasses on or one of of dreadlocks over his left eye. didnt think anything of it, and when i met him i had the biggest shock. not only was he fat as fuck but one of his eyes was looking in the complete opposite direction and i didnt know which one to look at and i literally didnt know what to do.

29. What’s something that scares you about the future?

struggling with money, not being with someone i love

30. List 5 quirky things about yourself.

hmm, my mum’s a nudist so not a lot shocks me so i’m told i make people feel at ease, my voice apparently, my experiences, my amazing ability to act like a complete and utter sloth all day, that’s 4 i can’t be bothered

31. Describe your dream library.

one that’s full of movies so i don’t have to read anything

32. What’s the weirdest item you’ve ever mourned?

mourned? haha. errr let me think, i got really sad when my mum threw out this pair of shitty stinky vans i had when i was about 12

33. If you could design an amusement park ride, what would it be like?

it would be on water, and it’d be slow and interactive

34. Do you have any “rules” about food?

yeah don’t ever give me liver or kidneys or like, tongues and shit cos i’ll puke everywhere

35. What’s your opinion on age differences in relationships?

indifferent, oldest i had was 47 youngest i had was 18

36. What’s something you want to do that you’d be embarrassed to tell other people about?

nothing really, maybe be invisible for a day and stalk the absolute piss out of someone i fancy

37. Describe a time/event in your life that you’re nostalgic for.

when i was about 15, sitting with one of my favourite people in the world in camden, bitching about everyone and drinking until i puked. that sense of carefree and libido was amazing

38. How do you approach social situations?

however i want, people don’t scare me

39. What is your ideal bed? Why?

one with nick in, self explanatory

40. Post a short excerpt of your life.

errr i’m not gifted as a writer. “i came home today, to find my mother having cyber sex using a headset, and it was awkward and my sister and i cried and put cotton wool in our ears”

the end

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